the field trip

another self-glorifying piece of trash that you can't resist to read. tempt you enough?

Sunday, November 13, 2005

did you know my sweet?

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another weekend in the books from Los Angeles. i would like to sit here and write tonight and tell you that i participated in something more than just drinking and eating, however that would be flat out lie. i drank. i ate. i drank, ate, and watched a lot of football. it's not a complicated life we lead here...most times.

somewhere during the drinking, eating, and manly watching of football i had this weird memory strike me. not so much a memory but just something that has confused and puzzled me since it happened. it happened over the summer. it really made me question the genuine nature of people and the deceptive qualities that you can never really predict in people you meet. maybe i was just hurt because i was so suddenly turned around, or maybe it is just because i still don't know what exaclty went wrong.

anyway, so i can stop confusing those who actually read this, here's the tale. i worked at my uncle's restaraunt all summer, i managed there. i had very few days off. our busiest day of the week was typically sunday because of our amazing brunch, these sundays i usually always worked, most times a double, because we were shorthanded and that's just the type of guy that i am. anyway, on one of these particular sundays i happened to be off, by some stroke of luck due to my absent minded cousin and his lack ok of a ride from the airport two days prior, i managed to get the morning off and only work the night shift managing.

anyway, Daniel and myself, accompanied by two of his gromet friends, decided that since we always work the brunch and never get to actually enjoy it, thought it would be both dastardly and evil to go and have brunch where we normally work on that sunday. so we did. we ate and joked with those who worked while we gorged. if you work or ever have worked in the food service industry you know that it is a big no-no to A) go in and eat where you work during a busy time and B) do that same thing during a normal period you are suppose to be working, so let me just say we were being given the eye by the whole staff, but fuck em' it was our morning off.

well here's where it gets tricky. many gorgeous and attractive girls came in and out of our small restaraunt on a daily basis over the summer. some on their own, some with boyfriends, with families, bored to tears stuck with brother and dad fishing and mom tanning and getting sloppy on margaritas. there were plenty of these girls, and on this morning one gorgeous and beautiful creature walked right into our doors and struck me like an anvil. now normally i don't get all worked up but boy was she impressive.

she came in (with family in tow) and sat in our main dining room, while me and the boys were at the bar. i could not stop looking in the dining room at her. she had this electric smile that was wide and cheshire. stunning. it was the last day of the masters, i think, and we had it on all the tv's at the bar. this caused her father and brother to get up and stand up behind me and my entourage to watch some holes. fine by me, dad looked nice, brother looked nice, no biggie, and then she walks up right behind me and begins to talk to daddy and brother.

i eavesdropped, naturally, come on i was struck blind by this broad, i had to know as much as i could about her.

anyway, they went back to eating and as i finished i could not stop wondering about her. i was really torn as to what to do. many girls came and went, and many of them i saw for an hour and they left just as fast as they came in and spent all of about that hour in my life with me at their service, but this one, this one apparently had some invisible lasso and had caught me up like no other had.

do i go and talk to her while her family is there? sheesh it was a difficult call, i mean if i didnt atleast let this girl know who i was and try i would never forgive myself for it. i was feeling quite ballsy, quite confident to say the least. and while most of you want me to have gone up to their table and said something romantic and charming and witty while casually brushing off that i had done anything at all but i didn't. i wrote her a note, i wrote her a note telling her beautiful she was and how out of all the brief encounters i had at that restaraunt she would be my number one memory. i didn't want to have any regret, i never want to have regret, it's a big thing with me.

so i had my busboy give her the note after i was gone, when she left. i went on with my day, dan and I went surfing, it was good. we had a lovely sunday and i forgot all about the note and just kept a tight grasp onto that smile. i came to work that night and didn't really think much more about it than "well atleast you did it, you can never say you were short on courage."

i worked, did my job, managed things and all that jazz and around 6 or so, right before the dinner rush, i got this call from a number i didn't recognize. i don't answer numbers i don't know so i waited for a message. it was her. she called me. she left me a message. she said i brightened up her day. she said she noticed me too. she said she was from LA. i was moving to LA quite soon. i thought it might've been fate.

i was in shock, and i was the happiest little restaraunt manager that night. a lot of people got free dessert let's just say that. on my next break i called her. she was a doll. she was sweet, and nice and flirty and everything you could ever expect a stunning stranger to be. there was one problem, she was in norfolk now and she was flying back to LA the next morning. bummer.

so the bubble burst. ohwell, i was stuck at work until 11 and she was an hour and a half away, flying in 10 hours to go three hours in the past from me. it wasn't as fateful as i had hoped. then i began to think about it more, if i really believed in no regret, if i really felt that it was worth it, i would drive my ass to norfolk and hang out with this girl for the briefest of time i had left to do so with. so i did. she loved it, she wanted me to come. i went. i drove to norfolk and arrived around 1 a.m. at her hotel, which just happened to be at the end of the street where my dad lived. it was simple, i drive to norfolk, hang with this awesome cool girl who i wanted to get to know more about who intrigued me to no end and who actually wanted me to do this, then when she had to retire i would go home to dad's and wake up and go back to kitty hawk.

and so i did.

we hung out in her lobby and on the docks of the elizabeth river and talked and talked and talked more and it reminded me so much of before sunrise and before sunset it wasn't even funny. we just talked and talked and from what i could gather hit it off better than expected.
i left her that night at 4 a.m. roughly and gave her two things: the only piece of seaglass i found over the summer which was the most beautiful piece i had ever seen and the best piece my aunt said she had ever seen, and a cd that i thought she would like. she liked both. it made me happy to do so. i went home that night feeling 14 again. we didnt' kiss, it never entered my mind. it wasn't like that.

she told me it was her birthday in a few weeks, so i bought her a card and sent it to her. i do things like that, im a big fan of birthdays because i don't really get one, it makes me happy to celebrate others who do get birthdays. that wasn't so bad right? i was just being a nice guy.

over the next two weeks we talked on and off, and it was nice. we talked about me moving to LA and her going back to school in Colorado. i wasn't looking for anything more than just a friend, and i thought she did too, but things somehow turned sour. i talked about visiting her in Colorado, she seemed interested in that at first, but more and more i could tell it might've been freaking her out. so i stopped talking about it, and then we just sort of stopped talking all together.

for some reason, maybe she got the wrong idea from me, she stopped calling back and calling at all. all correspondence was cut off. maybe she freaked. after a while i eventually got out of calling her because she obviously didn't want to talk to me.

In August i moved to LA and thought i would just hit her up to see what she was up to and how Colorado was. she didn't like this. she wanted me to leave her alone and told me i was getting way too serious. ha, little did she know anything serious was the furthest thing from my mind. i just broke up with a girl i had dated for almost two years, another relationship was out of the question hands down. so i stopped trying to contact her at all. no phone calls, no emails, no IM's, no nothing. it's been that way ever since i got here.

so tonight something made me think of her, and im glad it did. she was an amazing person, and i won't forget her. i hope she doesn't hold a grudge, because frankly i dont really think there is anything worthy of one to hold on to. i was nice, simple as that, and i guess it was just misinterpreted.

so if you read this, you know who you are, just know i only had good intentions of being a friend, nothing more or less and thats all.

i guess the moral is don't be vulnerable, dont be dissenting and closed up, but don't let yourself be fooled into a false sense of hope or possibility, don't let anyone pull the shades over your eyes so that you lose sight of what might really be going on. i love, that's what i do, i love everything i do passionately. i love what i love whole heartedly, i guess some people can't take that kind of passion. but that's me, im passionate, so don't take my genuine nature and passionate heart as anything more than what they are because that is where people get me wrong and don't know who i really am.

so, how do you know me?


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